Goleta Vineyard Leadership Meeting
Kim and Darlene Unrau
Dr. David and Beverly Whiting
Saturday, Feb 3, 2007
1. Structure of Human Personality
* Behavior – What is visible on the surface…what other’s see and hear.
* Thoughts/Feelings – We share these selectively depending on safety/trust.
We have varying degrees of awareness of our true thoughts and feelings…God knows them all.
* Belief Systems – How we “see” life is shaped by “significant emotional events.” (s.e.e.)
My “history” is His Story, i.e. He has been/is there in every event in my history.
Our “s.e.e.’s” produce “seeds” that bear either good fruit or bad fruit.
Our beliefs are either in agreement with God or not, i.e. they are “Godly” or “Ungodly.”
* Core Needs – food, water, shelter, safety, love, acceptance, value, affirmation, purpose, etc.
Our core needs and beliefs are largely subconscious, and drive much of what we think and feel
and how we behave. Those deepest levels are our “deep” heart. God knows our hearts completely, and longs for our invitation to join us there—and for us to “see” Him there as He
heals and transforms our hearts.
2. “Peace” as a Measure of the Condition of our Hearts
* John 14.1 – “Don’t let your heart be troubled.”
Possibly the most important of the 49 commands we have from Jesus.
Every fruit of the Spirit but “peace” can be “put on.” We can “put on” love, joy, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self control. We can’t “fake” peace. We either
have it or we don’t.
* “Peace Meter” – the way we measure our level of peace at any given moment.
10 – Nothing disturbs our peace. We can be stressed, exhausted, in crisis, but we know He is in control and we can abide in Him and follow His voice/direction.
5 – We have peace when circumstances are OK.
1 – Chronic state of disabling anxiety
* For Kim and Darlene’s Leadership Team, anything below 9 is cause for alarm—and draws them to Jesus to find out what is disturbing the peace. They go to Jesus together. This becomes a lifestyle of conversation with Jesus wherever we experience anxiety or fear—letting Him
identify the cause, and show us what He is doing with it.
* This journey is a process:
From unconscious incompetence
To conscious incompetence
To conscious competence
* Friends carry us to Jesus – Like the paralytic who’s friends tore a hole in the roof to get him to Jesus. Leadership Team is not just ministry partners, but friends who carry each other to Jesus.
Pray, play, worship, serve, carry each other to Jesus!
* Lk 6.42ff: Out of the heart comes evil or good – issue is not trying to be good. Issue is letting Jesus into our hearts to deal with the evil there. The Pharisees had evil in their hearts, but were trying to “act” good (the principle problem with the North American Church).
Leadership Meeting: Unrau, p. 2
We have lust, greed, fear, anger, etc. in our hearts. If we admit it – we receive mercy. If we hide it, avoid it – we can’t receive the mercy He wants to impart.
* Mth 23.25ff: Clean the inside of the cup, and the rest will take care of itself.
Our hearts are full: anger, greed, lust, pain… peace, love, joy, presence of Jesus…
Problem of the church: add a quart of good clean water (i.e. sermon, word, etc.) to the polluted caldron of the heart—doesn’t “change” the heart.
Undivided heart} – Are the “normal” Christian life… normal “abiding” in Him/the truth.
Single eye} The “lifestyle” of Jesus
Remaining in Jesus}
Only good fruit}
* Exercise: What does Jesus see in my heart?
He sees it all, but can highlight what He wants us to see… both good and bad.
Jesus loves it when we let Him see and show us our true hearts… when we surrender, raise the
white flag…say “help!” Or see what He delights in and takes pleasure in.
* Reminders:
Try to pray with individuals seeking help w/teams, not 1:1, and have those receiving bring trusted friends who can continue to support them in the discovery process.
In general, stay focused on Jesus. As needed check peace, fruit, ask Jesus what’s in heart.
Do it with trusted friends, i.e. “revelation friends” who will listen to Jesus with you.
Yielding to/trusting the Body (i.e. wife, trusted friends, children, trusted leaders, etc.) is yielding to Jesus.
As the Leadership Team develops revelation friendships, they will reproduce in kind.
The Model:
1. First hand encounter with Jesus thru listening prayer (no shame, control, manipulation).
2. Prophetic revelation to “pray-ers” – calls out or confirms what person is hearing from Him.
* Progress in Church at large:
Hearing His voice is becoming OK in the Body.
“Seeing” Jesus—seeing in the Spirit with the eyes of our hearts—is less familiar.
“Seeing” with the eyes of our hearts is the starting point for growing revelation.
* Biblical Foundations for “revelation,” i.e. “seeing with the eyes of our hearts.”
John 14.16-20 We have five senses: we see, hear, smell, taste, touch…
Rev 3.20 We can experience God—Father, Son, and Holy Spirit with all five.
John 16.12-16
Eph 1.16-23
Exodus 33.11-23 We have face to face friendship w/Jesus Who introduces Father and Spirit.
* Resources for further growth/discovery:
Can You Hear Me? Brad Jerzak (available from Amazon.com, etc.)
Fear No Evil
Kissing the Leper
Children Can You Hear Me?
Rivers From Eden Eden and Brad Jerzak
Leadership Meeting: Unrau, p. 3
3. Revelation Friendships (Dr. David Whiting)
* Trust is the key
One group of people is willing to go for it… they are risk takers.
Second group needs more safety: absolute confidentiality, reassurance, cautious pace, etc.
Let Jesus give you the questions to ask, moving from less threatening to deeper.
“Safe” questions = who are you? history, family, what you enjoy, etc.
Deeper questions = heart issues, i.e. how’s your heart? What does Jesus see in your heart?
* General guidelines for any group:
Communicate ground rules, expectations, how to deal with hurt, conflict.
Good to have “coaches” that track with groups for guidance, problem solving, feedback.
Leaders are accountable to members just as members are to each other and leaders.
“Accountability,” i.e. responsible, healthy, mutual relationship is two way, and by invitation.
For key leaders – easy to become “substitute” Jesus if people are dependent solely on us, and not on Jesus and other people.
Large group – keep questions simple and less threatening.
Small/intimate group – questions can go deeper.
If we don’t take people and their issues to Jesus, we’ve missed an opportunity for healing.
* General guidelines for working with individuals:
Have person “see,” find - safe place with Jesus first. (Safety is not healing)
Once safe with Jesus, He can take us into our pain.
Healing will involve pain. (must empty the cup, clean the cup, fill the cup)
Be open to creative surprises, revelation, and guidance from the Holy Spirit.
No judgment. Judgment is unacceptable. Must see people with the eyes of Jesus.
Cannot promise “absolute” confidentiality (i.e. where abuse is uncovered, etc.)
Let Holy Spirit do the work. Let Holy Spirit impart personal revelation. Take them to Jesus.
Work with those who will give it away.
Work with friendship teams vs. 1:1.
Have person being prayed for bring a friend with them to support them/follow up, etc.
How do we relate to people who don’t want to go deeper? Give them the grace Jesus gave us.
Friendship is voluntary… based on trust.
* Testing the trustworthiness of “revelation”
We can’t assume that every “revelation” of Jesus is true…
We can ask “Is this really You?” “Are You God?” “Did You come in the flesh?”
The historic tests are:
1. The witness of the Holy Spirit in us
2. Alignment with Scripture
3. Confirmed by trusted leadership
* Further notes on the process:
If Jesus doesn’t talk, it’s because he wants the person to…
Out of the heart the mouth speaks. We need to clean the cup. How?
Speak out: anger, grief, loss, pain, betrayal.
If Jesus doesn’t speak or act – there is a deeper wound. He is waiting for the individual to have
greater insight, emotional connection—more connection to reality, greater desire to explore.
Leadership Meeting: Unrau, p. 4
* Further notes on the process continued:
Depression = unresolved loss (disappointment, unfulfilled hopes, betrayal, grief, etc.)
When it turns in can result in suicide, cutting/mutilation, self hatred.
Goal = for the “cup” to be the same inside as outside, i.e. no hypocrisy.
Must see the inside of the cup: confess, speak out what’s in the heart.
Let Jesus clean the cup – heal the deprivation or the wound.
Let Jesus fill the cup with revelation of what He is doing in what is being exposed.
Retain important revelation—write it down—review it for one month until it takes root.
“Abide” in My Word/what He shows you = meditate, consider, reflect, absorb, assimilate…
We need friends to retain, assimilate, persevere in the process.
Small groups can often be led more effectively by asking the right questions vs. “teaching.”
Problem of addressing the same issues recurrently without change?
- lack of revelation into the heart, into Jesus
- lack of response to revelation, i.e. obedience
Stuck? Holy Spirit will always show up if we are patient. Jesus always shows up.
Mess up? He is full of grace and mercy to forgive, begin again…
If you’re dealing with a person who has false revelation?
Review with trusted leaders, compare with Scripture… if they persist in their deception and
affect others: warn a divisive person once, and then set boundaries.
Jesus spent more time initiating than responding.
He never responded to “need.” He responded to His Father’s voice…the Holy Spirit.
We each have different callings: the Body is balanced. Some with the homeless, some with leaders, some with the wounded, some with highly functional… Listen to who and how Jesus
is asking us to pursue.
Ask the question: Do you really want to be free? If not, wait.
If yes: find a safe place with Jesus.
Follow His path to the root area—uncover significant emotional events, memories, feelings.
Find Jesus in the event.
Come to the cross: Release mercy to the offender(s).
Receive forgiveness for your response(s).
Let Jesus remove the pain, heal the wounds.
Receive beauty for ashes in exchange
Return to the safe place with Jesus as often as possible
* Core Issue
We trust Jesus and pursuing revelation with Him…
How do we find our “revelation friends?
Listen to God—pursue—work thru disappointment, rejection, slander, betrayal and loss.
Mike Mishler, Deborah Keal-Jackson, Marisha Collinson and I (David Rosenberg) met at the Community Center at 10 AM and prayed for the Lord's leading before we set out on this morning's adventure.
Posts
